• J-Roc Garden Hoes
  • J-roc and Tyrone Sunnyvale
  • J-Roc and Rocpile Sunnyvale
  • J-Roc in the bar

J-Roc (real name Jamie) is the pimpest mawfk in Sunnyvale – or so he thinks. The fast-talking rapper may be whiter than his mom’s laundry, but in his heart J-Roc knows he’s black. Unfortunately, far from living a tough street life, J-Roc is straight outta Sunnyvale – he spent most of his adult life living with his mom, his rap records never make it beyond the trailer park, and his criminal record is wack. He once tried to boost his bad-boy image by pretending to be in jail, but spent the whole time hiding under his mom’s trailer. He eventually got his wish and was locked up for attacking a cop, but jail turned out to be tough as fuck, and he was scared the other inmates wanted to get with him. “I’m fuckin’ terrified, dawg… I’m stayin’ with my back to the wall, nomesayin’?”

J-Roc keeps it real by hanging with his crew the Roc-Pile, and his slick best buddy, Tyrone. The gang has operated various criminal schemes such as stealing groceries, ganking luggage from the airport, and their biggest success, selling home-made ROC Vodka to park residents. The vodka was a hit, especially with Jim Lahey. Delicious and tight as piss!

No Mawfk can keep J to the Roc down for long!

J-Roc also had some success making straight-to-video porno movies, producing such delights as From Russia with the Love Bone, The Bare Pimp Project, and J-Roc’s Greasy Trailer Park Girls Gone Wild. Even Ricky, Bubbles, and Sam Losco got in on the action, although Ricky was unable to perform as he was worried Lucy would get mad at him for banging greasy hos on camera.

J-Roc spins more rhymes than a lazy susan, but his rap career has been a troubled one. His confidence took a hit when he was caught “pulling his goalie” by Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles and was ridiculed by the park residents, despite his pleas he was “gettin’ changed, mawfuckas!” He was also dissed by rapper Detroit Velvet Smooth for being a fake, and nearly quit the rap game altogether. But no mawfk can keep J to the ROC down for long, and he was soon back at the mic, “Representin’ Sunnyvale, straight the fuck up!”

J-Roc’s life also changed by the arrival of his son and rap protegee DJ McFlurry, and is determined to look after the lil’ mawfk and be a good dad. J-Roc’s keepin’ it REAL, nomesayin’?